from a lecture by Robert Grant
Most people are not comfortable with anger. It is mostly seen as negative, immature or unspiritual. Few are taught to honour it, understand what it signifies and express it appropriately. Anger is healthy when expressed in a constructive way and in context.
Although everyone experiences anger in response to frustrating or abusive situations, most anger is generally short-lived. No one is born with a chronic anger problem. Rather, chronic anger and aggressive response styles are learned.
An essential cause of anger is DISCONNECTION – a feeling others don’t care for you. In today’s world we are often disconnected from loved ones, our ancestors, and the community where people feel no-one is protecting them.
There are health risks with unresolved anger: physical, interpersonal, spiritual and emotional eg,. high blood pressure, diabetes, chronic fatigue, pain, sleep problems and a decreased ability to process information.
There are some positive effects though. Anger can boost determination and ones sense of self-assurance, promote a drive for social justice, communicate how a person is feeling and ward off underlying sadness
It is essential to honour ‘negative’ emotions, and learn not only what drives them, but also how to move beyond them into long-term healing and a better future. Forgiving yourself is crucial – you are human. You need to be willing to move from our "pleasure world", acknowledge your own suffering and accept reality – not shoulds but coulds. It’s time to take time out for a few seconds, notice your breathing and become aware of your body’s reactions to anger.
Remember to fight fairly, cleanly and focus on setting limits/boundaries. That old saying, ”sticks and stones may break my bones ---but names will never hurt me”, it is NOT true. Words can be devastating and cannot be taken back. Many people never forget things that are said or done in anger. So Play fair – avoid name-calling, verbal abuse and dragging out skeletons from the past.
What do you want to achieve? To win, score points or create a win–win solution.
Become comfortable with anger and learn to honour it.
Feature Book: "OBE..Our stories"
Beyondblue has launched a campaign to celebrate the lives and experiences of our older Australian. It is fittingly titled "Over Bl**dy Eighty!" (OBE). They have put together a collection of stories about the challenge of older Australians to lead active and healthy lives both physically and mentally.
The Foreword was written by Noeline Brown, Australia's First Ambassador for Aging. "...Being positive and happy are very good things, but everyone has their days or times when they aren't feeling the best. It's so important that we speak to one another about how we are feeling and don't close ourselves off from the world"..
What do I like about this book? It's the fact that everyday Australians are sharing their thoughts on how to stay mentally and physically healthy while they enjoy their twilight years. Living and enjoying an active lifestyle isn't just for the young - it is for the young at hear. It's inspiring to hear from our those who have shaped our lives and still do to know that life doesn't end when you hit 80 and although it's not always a bed of roses we have a lot to look forward to!
MIFNQ stock a number of copies of this latest book and of course you can get your free copy directly from Beyondblue online.